Lately I have been going though many changes. I mean there are some things that are difficult to come to terms with, like a cherished belief, letting go of a lifelong habit, removing some favorite, yet not so good things out of my life. These things are hard to do, but I have found that they are usually for the better; I mean I usually find that after the turmoil and struggle, I can see how the whole incident was a fruitful one.
I have read that unless a seed falls to the ground a plant cannot grow (paraphrased from the Bible). It is so true that in order to grow sometimes one has to fall, become nothing, become no one, become empty.
I had taken 15 years off from myself and became someone else in order to home-school my children, be available for many not-for-profit services, and attend to the extensive, and at times, urgent needs and wishes of many other people in my life. I had to put myself on hold or just allow myself to become a servant for many years. Although I often struggled internally with that (even unknowingly) I still had to remind myself often that this is what I HAD to do for my family and my commitments elsewhere. I can hold my head up and say that I did the best I could in any given situation and I always tried to do what was right (or what I thought was right). I didn’t always do well, I often made huge mistakes, but deep down I can honestly say that I did my best. My heart and intention were in the right place. However, even so, the results were not always what I had envisioned or hoped for.
While I was homeschooling, one common subject in elemenatry school was the study of butterflies and their life cycle. As most parents, we purchased some chrysalis that were ready to hatch so that we could see this whole amazing event, and it WAS amazing.
One thing I didn’t know at that time was the deeper truth about this transformation. I only learned about it in the last year. This is the subject of imaginal cells. I am in such amazement of the imaginal cells that I actually can see how I have been going through much the same process and have even included that into my website’s artist’s statement. http://heatherdawnfineart.com
Well the story of imaginal cells, as told by me 😉 is that the cells of the caterpillar (while in the chrysalis) “think” that they are being invaded and attacked, these cells start to protect themselves from the cells of the butterfly by killing the butterfly cells so that those cells do not take over. But after some time, the caterpillar cells cease to kill the butterfly cells and allow the butterfly to grow. Well this is so interesting and such a deep subject that I am using this metaphor in my new work. I’ve been experimenting with some new things and I am using layers to achieve my desired effect.
I’m including a painting of a butterfly to signify that there is new work in the making. This is such a joyful yet somewhat scary transition. I am going to enter my new work into a competition so it will be some time before I post any photos of that. Currently I need sponsors and patrons so that this work can continue. If any of you have insight into how I am able to connect with people who love the arts and would like to help in any way, I would appreciate it if you could send a message to me on how to do this.
Thank you so much for always being so loving and encouraging.
I am so grateful and thankful for all that I have and for all of you sharing my work with others. You are so very special. Thank you.